When you come from ‘round the country to October’s ASA,
There’s a panel or a workshop that is sure to make your day.
If you want to talk to experts or to pick up a new skill,
There’s a session on the program that is sure to fill the bill.

Go to panels — and workshops in the fall,
At the meeting in Las Vegas, hope to see you one and all.

With our patients getting older, many should be beta-blocked.
If you’re starting such a program, you do not want to be shocked.
Lee Fleisher and his colleagues will be talking for a while
About dealing with these issues, they are sure to make you smile.

Go to panels — and workshops in the fall,
At the meeting in Las Vegas, hope to see you one and all.

If you’re called to see a patient with C-R-P-S type one,
Doctor Cope will host a panel that is certain to be fun.
They will help you to distinguish what’s type one from what’s type two,
And once you know the difference, you will learn just what to do.

Go to panels — and workshops in the fall,
At the meeting in Las Vegas, hope to see you one and all.

If you’re treating active bleeding with synthetic factor seven,
Visit Doctor Nuttall’s panel and you’ll think you’ve gone to heaven.
You will learn the indications, which are good and which are not;
If you use this new drug properly, your patient’s blood will clot!

Go to panels — and workshops in the fall,
At the meeting in Las Vegas, hope to see you one and all.

Is it safe to start that late-night case when you might be too tired?
If a bad outcome should happen, it’s quite likely you’ll be fired.
Doctor Katz will lead a panel that will cover this and more;
After learning for two hours, you will surely know the score.

Go to panels — and workshops in the fall,
At the meeting in Las Vegas, hope to see you one and all.

When anesthetizing patients who need X-rays of the brain,
What things should you bring with you to alleviate the pain?
Doctor Kirsch will host a panel about treating these poor folk,
If you follow their directions, then your patients will not stroke.

Go to panels — and workshops in the fall,
At the meeting in Las Vegas, hope to see you one and all.

There are always controversies when anesthetizing kids.
Do we need to treat them differently just ’cause they might get SIDS?
Steve Hall’s new panel promises to help us understand
How to treat these patients safely so their outcomes will be grand.

Go to panels — and workshops in the fall,
At the meeting in Las Vegas, hope to see you one and all.

When you’re planning anesthesia for outpatients who are fat,
Kathryn McGoldrick’s panel will help you to do just that.
Should these patients be admitted, and just how should they be watched?
If you do all things correctly, then their care will not be botched!

Go to panels — and workshops in the fall,
At the meeting in Las Vegas, hope to see you one and all.

Many patients need sedation for their colonoscopy.
Should GI docs give them propofol and pocket the whole fee?
Doctor Abouleish’s panel will explore these things and more;
Come discuss them with the experts, and you’ll learn new facts galore!

Go to panels — and workshops in the fall,
At the meeting in Las Vegas, hope to see you one and all.

When a patient’s been on bypass and his heart is really sick,
A ventricular assist device may help to do the trick.
Visit Doctor Schartel’s panel and you’ll learn just how these work,
And about the many pitfalls which behind the scenes may lurk.

Go to panels — and workshops in the fall,
At the meeting in Las Vegas, hope to see you one and all.

It has come to our attention that in some cases we find
That a patient wakes from surgery, 100 percent blind.
We have scheduled a new panel led by Karen Domino
That’s devoted to this topic, if you’re interested, please go!

Go to panels — and workshops in the fall,
At the meeting in Las Vegas, hope to see you one and all.

Trauma patients often come to us by helicopter flight.
If we want to get the best outcomes, we have to treat them right.
Albert Varon’s got a panel that will educate us all;
You will pick up some suggestions for the next time you’re on call.

Go to panels — and workshops in the fall,
At the meeting in Las Vegas, hope to see you one and all.

If a 7-year-old child’s having surgery of the chest,
Susan Tebich’s new panel will help you to do what’s best.
When inserting epidurals while these kiddies are asleep,
You’ll learn how to keep from putting that big needle in too deep.

Go to panels — and workshops in the fall,
At the meeting in Las Vegas, hope to see you one and all.

Very often we have patients who have mismatched V and Q
Who are somewhat hypoxemic while they’re in the ICU.
Will the lungs work even better if we separate the two?
Marc Popovich’s panel will be just the one for you.

Go to panels — and workshops in the fall,
At the meeting in Las Vegas, hope to see you one and all.

You may think you’ve finished reading when your residency’s done,
But so far as lifelong learning, you have barely just begun.
Catherine Lineberger’s new panel will discuss the MOC,
So that by the time you take the test, you’re ready as can be.

Go to panels — and workshops in the fall,
At the meeting in Las Vegas, hope to see you one and all.

For learning all the latest tricks for surgery of the chest,
Come to Edmond Cohen’s workshop, every year it is the best.
Fiberoptic intubation and new bronchial blockers too;
Be sure to sign up early, so we’ll hold a place for you.

Go to panels — and workshops in the fall,
At the meeting in Las Vegas, hope to see you one and all.

When a patient has a pacemaker or internal defib,
The approach we need in treating him is anything but glib.
Just how do we use a magnet, or a reprogramming box?
Doctor Rozner’s pacer workshop will help keep you off the rocks.

Go to panels — and workshops in the fall,
At the meeting in Las Vegas, hope to see you one and all.

So you’re running a pain practice and you’re wanting to get paid,
But you don’t want to get caught up in a governmental raid.
Doctor Merrill has a workshop that will help you to comply
With the Fed’ral regulations, you will learn the how and why.

Go to panels — and workshops in the fall,
At the meeting in Las Vegas, hope to see you one and all.

Cricothyroidotomy might save a patient who is big,
And what better way to learn it than to practice on a pig?
Doctor Doyle’s brand new workshop is just where you’ll want to go,
And you’ll learn to wield that scalpel like a surgeon who’s a pro!

Go to panels — and workshops in the fall,
At the meeting in Las Vegas, hope to see you one and all.

We have merely scratched the surface of the kinds of things in store
At our panels and our workshops in the year two thousand four.
We’ve got more than 60 sessions, Monday morn through Wednesday noon.
At a panel or a workshop, I sure hope to see you soon!

Jeffrey B. Gross, M.D., is Professor of Anesthesiology and Pharmacology, University of Connecticut School of Medicine, Farmington, Connecticut.